No More Nice Girl!! Call Me Kind. | Nice vs Kind

POV: not me thinking that being nice was a good thing. I spent the last 45 years of my life identifying with being a nice girl. I wore that label with honor, dignity, and pride. Every time someone would say awww, you're so “nice” I would give a big Kool-Aid smile (yes, a big smile from ear to ear).

Approximately a year ago I cancelled my gym membership because I felt the Lord leading me outside. Since then I took my exercise routine outside and I received the three R’s: Refreshed. Revitalized. Revelation. I receive revelation as I use this time to communicate with my Heavenly Father. As I walk along the paved sidewalk I imagine myself walking on the road to Emmaus while having an authentic conversation with Jesus. One day last week I felt led to listen to a YouTube message from the late Pastor Miles Munroe. It was truly a divine revelation as he unpacked two words - nice and kind that are often used interchangeably (sister, they're not related - not even second cousins). I became behoved to demolish the label that was a stronghold over my life.

Kindness is a fruit of the Spirit, it's how God intends us to be. Nice are people pleasers who are afraid of having hard conversations in love. The Bible mentions that the greatest commandment is to love God, love our neighbors as we love ourselves. How could I accomplish all three if I continue to be a “nice girl?” I was chosen and called to be a disciple and to have the fruit of the spirit in me. I feel liberated and renewed in my spirit because I have allowed my I d to be transformed by the renewing of my mind (Romans 12:2). My aim is to please God, not man. Nice is having the desire to avoid conflict. Kind is having a tough conversation in love. Kind is being honest in a loving way, whereas nice is making people hear what they want to hear rather than what they need to hear.

I guess God has been trying to teach me through my husband and our 11 year-old daughter. They are two of the kindest people I know. They speak the truth in love and don't live to please people. For example, I went to Ulta a few months ago to purchase a brow-defining cream (sister, I desperately needed it as I am a victim of over-plucked eyebrows a trend from the 1990’s). So after I found the item I moseyed on over to the lipstick counter and selected another shade of pink. When Makenzie and I got into the car, she said “Mommy, you did not need to purchase another lipstick. You have more than three lipsticks in the same color. You just spent $55 in less than a few minutes and then you wonder why you breeze through your budget.” Ouch, that hit me in the gut, the crazy part is she was being honest. The best part about what she said was how she said it, she used a loving and firm tone. When my oldest daughter found out about it, she responded with a “nice” comment. Let's just say, I returned the lipstick a week later, unused and unopened. And, the best part is I finally learned the difference between Nice vs Kind and I chose to be kind.

Have you ever struggled with being a people pleaser or identifying as the "nice girl"? Share your thoughts in the comments below. Would others describe you as mean, nice, or kind? I'd love to hear your story.